Confronting the brutal facts are not something a lot of us do. Yet it is one of the elements of becoming everything you dream of.
In business or in life, it is comfortable to allow things to be as they are. The alternative is that we need to take responsibility to change and change (even though we yearn for it) brings with it the price tag of discomfort.
Beyond the discomfort is the prize.
The prize in life, clearly defined, is lacking, me thinks.
That is why most people stay where they are. Vague dreams of living a good life, wishing thing could be better, are bountiful. Therefore stuckness in the norm.
To be unstuck. Liberated. You and I need to be honest.
Honest first with ourselves. Then learn how to authentic with others.
I recently watched Mark Leruste be honest about the entrepreneurial experience. I love the way how he distinguishes between the marketed reality of social media and the experienced reality of everybody. I acknowledge him for voicing what so many business owners experience. I invite you to have a look at his TEDx talk.
My last thoughts.
Face the truth. No matter how uncomfortable. But do not be overwhelmed by it. Face it with love. Love is a verb. Love is that what you do or not do, that leaves the beloved better off. Truth without love is brutal, love without truth is sentimental. Truth saturated with love is powerful.
1. All beliefs in whatever realm are theories at some level. (Stephen Schneider)
2. Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. (Dandemis)
3. Read not to contradict and confute; nor to believe and take for granted; nor to find talk and discourse; but to weigh and consider. (Francis Bacon)
4. Never fall in love with your hypothesis. (Peter Medawar)
5. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts. (Arthur Conan Doyle)
6. A theory should not attempt to explain all the facts, because some of the facts are wrong. (Francis Crick)
7. The thing that doesn’t fit is the thing that is most interesting. (Richard Feynman)
8. To kill an error is as good a service as, and sometimes even better than, the establishing of a new truth or fact. (Charles Darwin)
9. It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. (Mark Twain)
10. Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong. (Thomas Jefferson)
11. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed, second, it is violently opposed, and third, it is accepted as self-evident. (Arthur Schopenhauer)
The truth is greater than our experience of it. This insight is essential in our journey to know our truth.
In the proses of seeking truth we naturally draw boundaries around the insights we perceive of our experiences of truth. Through this boundaries we capture those liberating experiences that set us free. These boundaries are normal and natural. They are valuable mind maps we form to make sense of our world.
What tends to happen is the reluctance to test these boundaries once they have formed. Mostly because perceptions of the truth are inherited. Our parents, our culture and institutions in our society hand us these ready made boundaries around segments of the truth.
This acceptable up to a point. What usually happens is, we rebel against these hand me downs. Whether it happens in adolescence or in a mid life crisis, we come to a point were we question our given reality.
This rebellion is actually healthy, but is mostly seen as unacceptable. Either by society or by our own inner ethical stance. In my mind this is perceived as unacceptable because we tend to jump to the conclusion that the rebellion is against the sacred truth.
In fact – What is seen as rebelling against the truth, is actually rebelling against the boundary that was set around that piece of the truth that we needed to come this far. I would like to suggest that we see the rebellion as a sign that we have grown past the usefulness of this mind map of the truth. That the truth actually wants to introduce more of itself to us and that it is the truth that initiates this rebellion.
Rebelling against the boundary is our spirit becoming uncomfortable with the space that was allowed by the boundary.
Like a child that has out grown her shoes and need her mother to buy her a new pair. So rather than forcing the spirit into a shoe that is to small for it, go shopping for a new pair.
Embrace the rebellion. Use it to explore the truth in all its beautiful nuances. See, taste and smell every flavor and then choose your new boundary.
Just remember that the truth is greater than our experience of it, so do not set those boundaries to strong. You will be needing a new pair of shoes shortly.
In “Good to Great” Jim Collins makes the argument that one of the key elements for sustainable success is the ability to honestly look the facts in the face and deal with them.
Dealing with the honest truth, he says, is possible because of an important underlying belief that we are resilient enough. Resilient enough to recover and overcome from anything life presents to us.
Very few of us are comfortable enough to do this. It is easier to be in denial, to be selective in our awareness. Easier to shift the blame and stubbornly believe that an external power is the source of our situation.
It is hard to be honest to yourself about yourself and it is uncomfortable to be vulnerable in your own presence.
The times I could muster enough courage to shyly look myself in the eye it felt like I was cutting a piece of myself off myself. The act of honestly accepting the responsibility for myself and my actions (or lack of them) in certain situations in my life made me free and strong. But it sure as hell went down with a lot of gag reflexes.
Now I seem to be standing in front of another mirror. Remembering the uncertainty and dent in my self confidence as well as the powerful liberation and release of inner strength, I tentatively shuffle nearer …