Defining Trust

I still enjoy being surprised by synchronicity.

In this week, our adopted daughter asked me, what is trust? That afternoon a client asked the same question.

So what is trust?

In the interpersonal economy of relationships, trust is a social commodity that most people value highly. None of us like to have our trust broken. Some of us trust easily, others find it very difficult. When trust is kept we feel validated and relationships grow stronger.

That said, few us of us think about what trust is. Allow me then, to share the outcome of the two conversations referred to.

We defined trust as the choice we make to assume that someone will keep us (our words, shared actions or feelings) safe.

It is a choice. Consciously or unconsciously we choose to trust someone. It has been some time now that I have had the realization that trust is a gift. We always give it away.

Nobody can deserve trust. This statement is a cop out of taking the responsibility of who you choose to trust. All people all fallible. The best of us make mistakes. All people disappoint. We do not want to, but we do. So nobody can deserve trust.

But we trust anyway. We have the hope that through trusting someone, we will be kept safe. And this is okey. Knowing that trust is a gift, we can take ownership of our own vulnerability and choose to share ourselves with someone.

Owning up to this vulnerability, also empowers us to deal with the dissapointment when trust is broken. But, and this is always surprisingly good, we also enjoy the validation when the gift of trust is returned to us with interest – someone sharing their gift of trust with us.

Suddenly Louis Armstrong’s song “What a wonderful world” pops into my head.

Still trusting