Our debt to the universe and what lying has to do with it

Year ago a client shared an mental map he had of life. He said we all have a debt to pay to the universe. and we have a choice – pay it regularly or procrastinate and pay all the cumilated interest in one big payment.

Referring to an emotional debt, he was of opinion that we (especially men) need to cultivate the ability to be true to our emotional experiences, own it and express it in a constructive way. This was his way of paying of the debt on a monthly basis. If we neglect this, the emotional interest will build up and demand payment once of in the form of a heart attack, burnout or social loneliness.

This framework stuck with me and I think we can apply it to the embryo, the starting point of all personal power and happiness – taking responsibility for yourself.

I would like to disagree with my client on an important point, though. I do not think we have a debt to pay. I think we simple have an account. And it is our choice to build a positive saldo throughout life or borrow from the universe.

The sooner we choose to take responsibility for our life, the sooner we can build up an emotional nest egg, from which we can withdraw when life demands it.

Not taking responsibility for our life, is like using a credit card to buy stuff. You owe life the energy you are consuming.  And it seems life has a way of collecting.

So what has lying got to do with all this?

I think lying is the act of withdrawing from our account. Being truthful is the deposit.

When we lie. Especially when we lie to ourselves, we choose not to take responsibility. We shift blame and give reasons. Our cognitive dissonance kicks in and we do not want to accept that we are the cause of the life we are experiencing. We give our personal authority away and our mistakes becomes bags of regret that bog us down.

In contrast, when we own up. we make a deposit. When we choose to say “I am responsible” then we have the emotional energy to actually do something about our situation. We securely keep our personal authority internal. Then mistakes become fertile learning experiences and stepping stones to creating our vision.

The invitation then is, take responsibility for your life account and start building a positive balance.

Still depositing.


The authority of decisive mistakes (Part 1)

A few days ago a young man sat before me, asking me which way to go next. As I listened to him, I remembered a friend’s comment when we were his age. “We are young enough to make mistakes and recover”

Someone else asked me how we know if we make the right decisions. I told her I think we always make the right decisions. No one deliberately choose to make mistakes. It is always in hind sight that we realize we should have chosen a different option.

Maybe we should explore our unique decision making process. Every one has one. Some are more developed than others and some are more effective than others. But each one of us has one.

To decide between options is grounded in human capability to choose. To be able to choose is one of the fundamental human abilities. This flows out of the universal law that each one has authority over him/herself.

This authority is sometimes given away. In some instances this is healthy. For example a child that needs to be taken care of. Or in a democratic election to vote for a political party is to give that party your authority to govern the society you live in.

When personal authority is given away, it is always given in trust. The person receiving that authority then has the responsibility to give that authority back with interest. A parent needs to give opportunities to the child to grow into taking up their own authority. A government must create opportunities for the people to live in freedom and peace etc.

When someone or a collective arrogantly think their authority is of a higher or better kind they think they can take other people’s authority (usually by force). This has happened all over history: War’s between nations, colonialism, manipulation in relationships, corruption in government and so on.

Very important though. These people can just be successful if they are given the authority by the other. Authority, like trust, is never something you can take or deserve, it is always a gift.

So, what we need to be aware of constantly in our decision making process, is how do I distribute my authority?

With care