10 Lettered Words

The most selfish 1 letter word – I – avoid it.

The most satisfying 2 letter word – We – use it.

The most poisonous 3 letter word – Ego – kill it.

The most used 4 letter word – Love – value it.

The most pleasing 5 letter word – Smile – keep it.

The fastest spreading 6 letter word – Rumour – ignore it.

The hardest working 7 letter word – Success – achieve it.

The most enviable 8 letter word – Jealousy – distance it.

The most powerful 9 letter word – Knowledge – acquire it.

The most essential 10 letter word – Confidence – trust it.

Doing it to Each Other or Doing it to Ourselves

We are constantly navigating our way in life between relationships. Some work well, some don’t.  I found the following an interesting perspective that helps me understand some of the relationships I am in currently.

“Kenneth Boulding, in The World as a Total System (1985), described five modes of interaction which I have personally found very helpful in understanding what’s going on in situations. There are actually eight modes described below because Michael McMaster (1995) added a sixth on during a conversation on the Learning Org List and in Dec 1999 Dan Freeman offered two additional interaction modes.

  • Parasitic – the parasite feeds on its host for its survival, to the detriment of the host, and eventually to the detriment of itself, for once it kills the host it must find another host to survive.
  • Prey/Predator – the predator feeds on the prey to the detriment of the individual prey and to the detriment of its own species, yet this is beneficial to the prey species overall as it limits the prey population.
  • Mutualistic – two (or more) members benefit from the association (I get what I want and you get what you want – they may or may not be the same). [Freeman ’99]
  • Commensal – two or more organisms may have a prolonged association between themselves, but they may or may not benefit each member. More specifically, a relationship may be commensal when an organism derives some benefit while the other is unaffected. [Freeman ’99]
  • Threat – if you do (or don’t do) something I want (or don’t want) you to do then I won’t do something you don’t want me to do.
  • Exchange – if you do something I want you to do then I will do something you want me to do.
  • Integrative – where you and I come together to accomplish something we both want.
  • Generative – where you and I come together and accomplish something neither of us had any idea of before we came together. [McMaster ’95]
  • Play – There is a sixth interaction model which is of the nature of “PLAY”. Mutualistic, Integrative and Generative all signify an accomplishment, a goal. The sixth interaction “PLAY” in its essences is the affirmation of the existence of all the other Interaction Model. [Krishnaswamy, ’04]

This list is written in an order which is considered to represent more and more evolved levels of interaction as one works their way down the list.

What amazed me about the different categories is how certain situations seem to be initiated in one mode and then transform into another mode. Consider what happens in a couple situations:

  • When you buy a car you exchange, with the car dealer, a promise to pay for the car. The car dealer then exchanges, with a financial institution, the promise to pay for real money. The financial institution then converts this into a threat interaction by essentially saying that as long as you make your payments you can keep the car.
  • When an employer hires an employee it begins as an exchange interaction where the employer agrees to pay the individual for accomplishing work that needs to be done. This then transforms into a threat interaction wherein the employer says that as long as you do what I tell you do do I will let you keep your job and not fire you.

What seems to be most beneficial to all parties involved, and in terms of the results produced, is operating at the Integrative or Generative modes. I think groups that really become teams operate in an Integrative or Generative fashion.”

Copied from Gene Bellinger’s website Mental Musings (http://www.systems-thinking.org/moi/moi.htm)


The thinking idiot

Guy’s Tip: Did you know that if ask anyone from a Professor to a politician ‘Why’, three times in a row, you can reduce them to a gibbering idiot.

Nietzsche Says: A thinker sees his own actions as experiments. For him, questions are merely attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.

A Banana in your ear

Who is responsible for your life this year?  You?

One of the most uncomfortable truths about life is that you are responsible for yourself.   If things go wrong in our life, you did it. If things work out, you did it. It is also one of the most liberating truths once we accept it. Once accepted it sets in motion the dynamics to co-create a reality that is desired by all.

I would like to share part of a story Anthony de Mello told. He captured this truth in a interesting way.

Do you think you help people because you are in love with them? Well, I’ve got news for you. You are never in love with anyone. You’re only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person. Take a minute to think about that: You are never in love with anyone, you’re in love with your prejudiced idea of that person. Isn’t that how you fall out of love? Your idea changes, doesn’t it? “How could you let me down when I trusted you so much”? you say to someone. Did you really trust them? You never trusted anyone. Come off it!

That’s part of society’s brainwashing. You never trust anyone. You only trust your judgment about that person. So what are you complaining about? The fact is that you don’t like to say, “My judgment was lousy”. That’s not very flattering to you, is it? So you prefer to say, “How could you have let me down”? So there it is: People don’t really want to grow up, people don’t really want to change, people don’t really want to be happy. As someone so wisely said to me, “Don’t try to make them happy, you’ll only get in trouble. Don’t try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it irritates the pig”.

Like the businessman who goes into a bar, sits down, and sees this fellow with a banana in his ear – a banana in his ear! And he thinks, “I wonder if I should mention that to him. No, it’s none of my business”. But the thought nags at him. So after having a drink or two, he says to the fellow, “Excuse me, ah, you’ve got a banana in your ear”. The fellow says, “What”? The businessman repeats, “You’ve got a banana in your ear. “Again the fellow says, “What was that”? “You’ve got a banana in your ear!” the businessman shouts. “Talk louder”, the fellow says, “I’ve got a banana in my ear!” So it’s useless. “Give up, give up, give up”, I say to myself. Say your thing and get out of here. And if they profit, that’s fine, and if they don’t, too bad!

My question is – Are you aware of the banana in your own ear? Or are you hang up about the banana in the other guy’s ear? What are you going to do about your banana? Let me know.

With Bananas


The Edge of your Ability

A blind man had been waiting a while at a busy road for someone to offer to guide him across, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Excuse me,” said the tapper, “I’m blind – would you mind guiding me across the road?”

The first blind man took the arm of the second blind man, and they both crossed the road.

Apparently this is a true story. The first blind man was the jazz pianist George Shearing. He is quoted (in Bartlett’s Anecdotes) as saying after the event, “What could I do? I took him across and it was the biggest thrill of my life.”

There are times when we think we cannot do something and so do not stretch or take a risk. Being forced to stretch and take a risk can often help us to reduce our dependencies (on others, or our own personal safety mechanisms), and to discover new excitement and capabilities.

Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It’s too high!
And they came,
and he pushed,
and they flew.

©Christopher Logue