The Truth about Networking

The truth about networking is that you do not network, you build a relationship.

Networking has become a overused term and has been loaded with a variety of meanings. Ranging from confusion between “Are you talking about a network between computers or people?” to something salespeople do for a living. For our conversation, I will be referring to the people side of networking.

5241458406_b3ccfee74e_b.jpgThere is nothing wrong with the term networking. It refers to the interconnection between people.  The key word being “interconnection”.

Al lot of people who think they network, do so from the assumption that we are meeting each other to get something.

Yes, ultimately all human interactions can be simplified to an economic transaction. There is a constant exchange of various resources: energy, attention, words, services, products and ultimately money. But this exchange is based on the foundation of being in a relationship. More specific – a trusting relationship.

As humans we very quickly decide if we are safe with someone or not. It happens unconsciously, but our actions towards a person is based on this interpretation. So if you want to be a truly effective in networking, build trusting relationships.

Trusting relationships asks us to invest time and involvement. This investment in the process of cultivating trusting relationships result in a sustainable and a higher quality of resource exchange. Making the ROI worth while.


Like Breathing for Business

Like Breathing is for the body, so is marketing for the Small Business (Any business for that matter).

I just came from a group session with four small business owners. Their biggest challenge is getting enough clients to keep their business afloat.

From experience I know how they feel. I remember those early days full of stress. I also know from experience that this is not the only challenge, but possibility the biggest. We have a product or service, we know that it will add value to our clients. We just cannot seem to get the clients and the product to meet each other.

imagesIt’s like walking through a maze. Often we take a turn and end up in a dead end. Finding our way through trial and error. I remember wishing someone could show the way.

So today I am glad to say that Quantum Flow Coaching can be that guide.

We are collaborating with a group of international coaches that wants to make Small Business’ successful. We want to change the world economy by enabling Small Business owners to beak through the dreaded first 3 years. And we do it by coaching them to get more clients.

So – today we launch our online e-learning marketing system.

A 52 week, step by step guide to increase your cash flow by getting ALL the clients you need.

Please take a tour through this system, and let us know what you think.


Phasing in or phasing out?

As most things in life, relationships have different phases. Remembering this can make juggling the important relationships in our lives with the demands of our busy schedules a bit easier.

In long term relationships there are four distinct phases.

  1. The romantic phase
  2. The disappointment phase
  3. The power struggle phase
  4. The friendship phase

In the romantic phase we are on a trip. The happy hormones “zonk” us into that floating feeling of being in love. We just know we have met our soul mate and we can live on water and love alone. This is nature’s way of capturing us into a relationship and we should enjoy it. Like Anthony Hopkins said in Meet Joe Black – “You haven’t lived if you haven’t loved”

Then comes the disappointment phase. Here the hormones start to wear of and we start seeing our partner as they really are. He doesn’t pick up his socks and she doesn’t turn the toothpaste cap back on. Most relationships end here. We had our kicks and now it is time to move on.

But, when we decide to stay, the third phase comes out to play. The power struggle phase The phase were marriages usually end in the divorce court if not managed right. In this phase we try and change our partner to what we want them to be.  We want them to fit in, into our expectations. They have to make us happy. If they love us, they will change – or so we lie to ourselves.

The truth is nobody wants to be changed. People don’t mind change as long as they are doing the changing and change is not done too them.

If we want to keep the relationship. If the other person is significant enough for us to stay. Then we need to make the choice to step into the fourth phase. The friendship phase.

In the friendship phase we accept our partner with their good and their bad. We allow them to be who they are in our space. And most of all, we start to change ourselves. We allow our partners to become a mirror in whom we see ourselves for who we really are. And with their grace, we start changing ourselves. We focus on being the best friend we can be. We start to realize that the biggest gift we can give is to be our self. The one that our partner initially fell in love with. Then we start the hard work of changing into being the best we can be. To really live, because we really love – ourselves and our partners.

So, are you phasing in or phasing out?

Still phasing in


NEW at Quantum Flow Coaching

Terrific Teams @ QFC – Take your team to a new level with this unique intervention. 

How does it differ from traditional Team Building events? One-day events often leave teams with short-lived high spirits and noble resolutions.  Terrific Teams @ QFC offers a Team Lift-Off day followed by a three to six month team coaching series.  Goals are not only set, but met and transcended.  New thinking patterns and habits are hardwired.  The result? Motivated, effective, engaged teams.

Contact us for more detail.

The natural order of things

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its  dedicated staff, he offered a question:

‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?’

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. ‘I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.’

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’ I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning..’

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

Plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first!

Run to first!’

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay’

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third!

Shay, run to third!’

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

‘That day’, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’.

Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them.

Hidden Beliefs

Your subconscious mind is infinitely more powerful than your conscious mind.

What you believe at a subconscious level will ALWAYS triumph over your goals, affirmations and other things you do at a conscious level.

In other words … if you have hidden beliefs that do not support what you’re trying to create, you’ll NEVER achieve the success you want.

The flip side is that because you created these hidden beliefs, you can recreate them into foundational beliefs that do support what you are trying to create.

The power is yours!