“I move boundaries” was the answer I had to give a stranger when he asked me what is a unique attribute I had.
Boundaries are important. Especially personal boundaries. They keep us safe. The keep relationships healthy. They help define us. But they also limit us and hold us back.
The challenge is to know when to keep your boundary in place and when to allow yourself or someone to step over it. Or you could move your boundary. Moving your boundary is something different than crossing it or not keeping it in place. To move your boundary is to expose yourself to an experience you have not have previously.
Stepping over a boundary implies that you can step back. That is to be assertive and keep the status quo. Not having a boundary or not keeping it in place is unhealthy. Moving your boundary is an internal stretch. It asks that you test your assumptions and replace ineffective assumptions with ones that are more in touch with a new reality. One that includes the experience that you explored.
Kio Stark gives an inspiring talk on talking to strangers. “It is good to be friendly, and it’s good to learn when not to be, but none of that means we have to be afraid.“
She highlights the difference between perceptions and categories. Categories lead to bias. Perception is the use of our senses to connect with the individual. When you connect with a stranger in this way, you move your boundary. “So, here it is. When you talk to strangers, you’re making beautiful interruptions into the expected narrative of your daily life and theirs.” Now you have an experience and a story to tell. You have moved your boundary.
How about it? Are you willing to explore? Tell me how it played out for you.