Giving up or moving on

There is a huge difference between giving up and moving on. Moving on doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are some things that cannot be. Moving on can mean that you’re making a choice to be happy rather than hurt. For some folks, good situations last a lifetime, but for many, not knowing when to move on can hold them back forever.

2 thoughts on “Giving up or moving on

  1. But how do you know the difference, Herman. The difference between moving on & giving up. How do you know when ‘it is time’ or when ‘something isn’t meant to be’?

    • Good question Theunis.

      Without simplifying everybody’s situation to one quick answer, I think it would help to know the difference if we distinguish between attachment and commitment and we also have to keep the principle of precession in mind.

      Most of us tend to attach ourselves to an specific outcome. Attachment is when we connect an emotional experience to an outcome. For example: I will be happy if I have a relationship with a specific person. When the relationship does not work, we do not experience the desired happiness.

      When we commit ourselves, a different dynamic is activated. Commitment is when we engage wholeheartedly to the achieving of a cause bigger than ourselves. In bedded in commitment is the understanding that to serve our cause, there will be a series of outcomes.

      In our example, we will then commit our self to happy relationships. Understanding that to achieve this cause, there will be many people with whom we will have relationships. We will then start to focus on the quality of relationships, not on the person in the relationship.

      This brings precession into the picture. Simply put, precession is the ripple effect of an action. The classic example is that of a bee, looking for nectar, and the ripple effect is the pollination of flowers that lead fruit on the tree, that lead to you and I eating healthily, etc.

      What is important is that the ripple effect is a reciprocal value add. Both the bee and the flower benefits.

      Excuse the long explanation to answer your question. You know you have to move on if the ripple effect no longer is beneficial to everybody involved.

      If we stop before this happens, I think we give up.

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