A Banana in your ear

Who is responsible for your life this year?  You?

One of the most uncomfortable truths about life is that you are responsible for yourself.   If things go wrong in our life, you did it. If things work out, you did it. It is also one of the most liberating truths once we accept it. Once accepted it sets in motion the dynamics to co-create a reality that is desired by all.

I would like to share part of a story Anthony de Mello told. He captured this truth in a interesting way.

Do you think you help people because you are in love with them? Well, I’ve got news for you. You are never in love with anyone. You’re only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person. Take a minute to think about that: You are never in love with anyone, you’re in love with your prejudiced idea of that person. Isn’t that how you fall out of love? Your idea changes, doesn’t it? “How could you let me down when I trusted you so much”? you say to someone. Did you really trust them? You never trusted anyone. Come off it!

That’s part of society’s brainwashing. You never trust anyone. You only trust your judgment about that person. So what are you complaining about? The fact is that you don’t like to say, “My judgment was lousy”. That’s not very flattering to you, is it? So you prefer to say, “How could you have let me down”? So there it is: People don’t really want to grow up, people don’t really want to change, people don’t really want to be happy. As someone so wisely said to me, “Don’t try to make them happy, you’ll only get in trouble. Don’t try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it irritates the pig”.

Like the businessman who goes into a bar, sits down, and sees this fellow with a banana in his ear – a banana in his ear! And he thinks, “I wonder if I should mention that to him. No, it’s none of my business”. But the thought nags at him. So after having a drink or two, he says to the fellow, “Excuse me, ah, you’ve got a banana in your ear”. The fellow says, “What”? The businessman repeats, “You’ve got a banana in your ear. “Again the fellow says, “What was that”? “You’ve got a banana in your ear!” the businessman shouts. “Talk louder”, the fellow says, “I’ve got a banana in my ear!” So it’s useless. “Give up, give up, give up”, I say to myself. Say your thing and get out of here. And if they profit, that’s fine, and if they don’t, too bad!

My question is – Are you aware of the banana in your own ear? Or are you hang up about the banana in the other guy’s ear? What are you going to do about your banana? Let me know.

With Bananas


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