“I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.”
— Frederick E. Perl
We are very much who we are because of other people. Most of us accept this. Some of us resist it. But the fact of life is that I am because We are.
Being an introvert, I resisted this truth for a long time. I though I did not need other people to be complete. My locus of control was centered strongly inside myself.
As I started looking at reality wider than my own, I come to the realization that I am a part of this reality – therefore I am part of other people as well. Sometime my honest struggle is to experience this connectedness. Extroverts seem to find it easier. They source their energy from other.
We are apart, we have our own individuality and the most important responsibility each of us have is to be ourselves. If I am not myself, no one will be. And I, by not being myself, then also deny the world the beautiful contribution I have to make in the evolution of the universe.
Oscar Wilde puts it beautifully: “Be yourself, everybody else is taken.” So go one, choose how you want to be, decide what you want and take initiative to create just that.
At the same time we are connected. We create our individuality by mirroring ourselves in others. We are formed by our caregivers, culture and experiences. We are influenced by others opinions. We find love, support and validation in our relationship with other – even if just from one other person.
The beauty is in the dance of the two. Very few people realize that they can choose by whom they are influenced.
Yes – you can choose (practicing apartness) who you will allow to influence you (practicing connectedness).
This simply means you do not need to be influenced by those who break you down – (The critical mother or father voice in your head) – but you can be influenced by those who build you up.
So – in your journey to become yourself. Choose who will be in your herd. Choose those that will assist you with your responsibility to bless the universe with your unique contribution. Be yourself in the crowd of your choice.
Connected and apart