It is a biological, neuro-scientific fact that not one of us thinks the same.
Unfortunately the beauty of this fact gets lost sometimes. We all have the same brain make up (all of us have a limbic system or a language center), the uniqueness lies in the neurological connections we make.
I find it sad the so many of us do not trust this unique connection we make. We (me included) seem to want external validation for our thoughts. I often hear the questions: “Am I thinking right?” or “Is this the right way of thinking?”
The reality is, even if we think in the exact same words the external validater gives us, the neurological connections would still be unique to us.
That said, we can also identify certain common thinking patterns. One of these is Binary thinking.
Binary thinking is either or thinking. This pattern only recognizes good and bad, black and white. Its motto is: “Those who are not for us are against us.” We see it in extremist and racists. It is us against them.
The ineffectiveness of this type of thinking pattern is that it glues itself to two poor defense mechanisms: Denial and projection.
A binary thinker will deny that he/she is wrong and project that what is ugly in him/herself onto the enemy. We see this in people that accuse other race groups of being rapists, but they keep their own incense a secret. Or see the “terrorist” as a cold blooded murderer, but enjoys watching bloody thrillers.
But we will also find it
in our own thinking.
The healthier and more effective way of thinking is to think “either/and”. Life is not simple, it is complex. When we embrace the either/and way of thinking we celebrate this beautiful complex diversity. Either/and thinking gives us the freedom to choose the option that synchronizes with our unique brain map of the world.
In this freedom we will find the responsibility to take ownership of the beauty inside our own mind.