Letting go of being in control

I was challenged two day ago to let go of the picture I had of reality. What made this challenge impact full was the fact that the one challenging me was a horse.

(For those who need it – I use horses in my coaching. This time I was the client and the EAP study group coached me)

I am not alone in this. All of us constantly form maps of reality in our mind to make sense of our world. Maps that become preconceived complex pictures, pictures that subconsciously create expectations. The expectations then form a false sense of security that we are in control of our reality.

We seem to need to be in control. Especially the world we live in. My question is: Why is control so important?

The following conversation between Susan and Death illustrates my point:

“All right,’ said Susan.’I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE

Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little-

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES

So we can believe the big ones?

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING

They’re not the same at all!

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—

Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME… SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED

Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—

MY POINT EXACTLY” — Terry Pratchett

For me the challenge is: Why not let go of trying to create control and submit to the existing control of the universe?

It may seem chaotic, it may feel chaotic, but as the chaos theory states, underneath the chaos there is order in the system that will always protect itself.

So – to trust the process and to become aware that we are all part f the bigger system, might just be the way forward. I might be wrong, though…

Out of control.

H

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