A lot of my clients struggle to deal with stress. Even though they are living their ideal life, stress still seems to find a way in.
So we know there is good and bad stress. Eustress is good for us. It gets our adrenaline flowing and motivates us to reach our goals. Distress is bad for us. It paralyzes us and lets us run around in circles.
The question then is how do I keep myself in the eustress zone?
One important distinction to make in our journey towards optimal human functioning is the difference between attachment and commitment. This distinction that can be translated into powerful mind maps that can make all the difference in living a fulfilled life or a frustrated life.
So let us start to understand the difference:
- Attachment is the emotional weight we put on an expected outcome.
- Commitment is engagement to a cause.
With attachment, the end result is seen as the most important. The end result is a reflection of the value-add you are in need of. This need is mostly associated with an external source of validation. And because the source is external, energy flows out of you, causing distress.
Commitment on the other hand sees the end result as a clear vision and how that vision will change your life. It then releases the end result and focuses on the process of creating that result.
Commitment is an internal source of energy that allows you to pour yourself out completely into the creation of a worthwhile cause. A worthwhile cause is that space where you know that you as an individual are adding value to something bigger than just yourself. And because you spend yourself on something bigger than yourself, energy flows back into your system. This in turn motivates you to commit even more and you generate eustress to keep engaged with the process.
This has powerful implications to every part of your life. Are you committed or attached to your significant other? Are you committed or attached to your career? What about your children?
Can I invite you to commit and not attach yourself to your life?